Jokes 2 go offers this:

    New Chemical Element Discovered
     
   
The heaviest element known to science was recently discovered
by investigators at a major U.S. research university.
The element, tentatively named administratium, has no
protons or electrons and thus has an atomic
number of 0. However, it does have one neutron,
 125 assistant neutrons, 75 vice neutrons and
111 assistant vice neutrons, which gives it an atomic
mass of 312. These 312 particles are held together by
a force that involves the continuous exchange of
meson-like particles called morons.

Since it has no electrons, administratium is inert.
However, it can be detected chemically as it impedes
every reaction it comes in contact with.  According to
the discoverers, a minute amount of administratium
causes one reaction to take over four days to complete
when it would have normally occurred in less than a second.

Administratium has a normal half-life of approximately
three years, at which time it does not decay, but instead
undergoes a reorganization in which assistant neutrons,
vice neutrons and assistant vice neutrons exchange places.
Some studies have shown that the atomic mass actually
increases after each reorganization.

Research at other laboratories indicates that administratium
occurs naturally in the atmosphere. It tends to concentrate
at certain points such as government agencies, large corporations,
and universities. It can usually be found in the newest, best
appointed, and best maintained buildings.

Scientists point out that administratium is known to be toxic
at any level of concentration and can easily destroy any productive
reaction where it is allowed to accumulate. Attempts are being
made to determine how administratium can be controlled to prevent
 irreversible damage, but results to date are not promising.


Oh yea! definitely lots of this underfoot!